Two rather unusual thoughts came out of nowhere: “I cannot do this…” therefore, “I die.”
Immersed in the nucleus of a fathomless Womb, I remained in a state of joy, while a powerful energetic rebirth was taking place.
Book excerpt: Portilla, Isaac. The Possibilities of Spiritual Experience: An Autobiographical and Philosophical Exploration. Madrid: Editorial Mirlo, 2017. (Part: Spiritual Autobiography; Chapter: My Awakening; p. 26-27)

My Awakening
By Isaac Portilla

In May, 2003, at the age of 25, I sat for meditation.  This was just a few weeks after I had decided to be truly committed to the spiritual path—“whatever that might be,” I used to think at that time.  The call for truth, gradually maturing during my life, had grown into a strong desire to experience what was real beyond appearances.  I was sure there was something else to life.  I just did not know what it was.  Thus, when I sat that day for meditation, I really had reached a state of full and unconditional dedication (even if I was not aware of that fact).  The outcome, however, was totally unexpected.

            As I put my attention in the lower area of my abdomen and began the breath-work, two rather unusual thoughts came out of nowhere: “I cannot do this…” therefore, “I die.”  Suddenly, from my lower abdomen arose a wave of consciousness, which, in a split second, permeated everything with its undifferentiated quality.  There was bliss.  There was happiness.  Nothing else remained.  My body was gone, my sensorial perceptions were gone, my thoughts were gone—everything was gone… everything, except that ecstatic conscious-bliss.  Immersed in the nucleus of a fathomless Womb, I remained in a state of joy, while a powerful energetic rebirth was taking place.

            After some time, once the just-awakened self had absorbed enough of this experience, a new thought came: “There is nothing in the world comparable to this happiness” (the mere knowing of this kind of happiness would change my life forever).  After a while, I searched to touch the chair where I was sitting; there it was.  As I regained my sensorial perceptions I opened my eyes.  The room was there, my body was there, everything was there as before, but my awareness had changed.  I felt connected to all around me.  Existence had awoken to itself.  The true journey had just begun.
© 2017 Isaac Portilla
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Preface: Beyond the Nirvanas. There are truths beyond the nirvanas and ecstasies, beyond the transcendental perspectives and the present-moment awareness, which are waiting to be recognized... (read more)
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My Awakening. In May, 2003, at the age of 25, I sat for meditation.  This was just a few weeks after I had decided to be truly committed to the spiritual path—“whatever that might be,” I used to think at that time....  (read more)
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Spirituality and the Enlightenment Age. After years of serious dedication to experiential spirituality and research, I arrived at a striking and paradoxical conclusion: spirituality—the so-called ‘science of Enlightenment’—never reached the Enlightenment Age...  (read more)
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Glossary (Three Pillars Model Terminology): Divine Cognition; Enlightenment; God (mystical-scientific def.); Light Threshold; Logos; Nadis; Overmind; Self Realization; Supermind...  (read more)